We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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