We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
