I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
