No stitches, just platelets and will power
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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