big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
