no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
