i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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