Me. At least after what I've been through.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
