i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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