my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
