Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
