She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
