No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
