You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
