Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
