i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
