Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
