Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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