The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
