dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
