that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
