Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
