I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
