so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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