If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Why can't burritos get me drunk
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
