just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
