I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
