Betty ford says i'm here all night
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
