i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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