Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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