Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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