Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You are the jesus of drinking
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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