I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
