Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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