i permit you to call me
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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