He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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