i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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