You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
