Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
