I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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