guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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