shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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