My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
