She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
PS: I just woke up from my shower
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
