You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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