Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Acid is not a monday night drug
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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