did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
