Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
