i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
