i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
