you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
