jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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