Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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