I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
