it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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